HOW TO GET A BIG PENIS, COCK, WILLIE, DICK, SLUG call it what you will - How to make your penis big.

When I'm in the showers I get pissed of by people constantly asking me "How did you get such a big manhood?" Shamed by their shriveled up two inch long penises they often ask me for advice, and so I've decided to help all guys out there and tell you how to grow a big penis to impress the girls with.

HOW TO GET A BIG PENIS - DOES SIZE MATTER?
Well, put it this way, the vagina is on average four inches deep. And so in theory anything bigger than that will be more than enough. But in practice when you listen in to girls talking (he he) they sure ain't talking about the size of bananas in the trees.

WHAT IS THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE?
The average penis size when erect is only 5.7" to 6". Over 90% of men posses this size.

HOW TO MEASURE PENIS SIZE:
How do I measure my penis? The easiest way to measure the erect penis is to use a piece of string or similar and wrap it around the thickest part of the erect penis - this is usually very near the base but the glans just below the head can sometimes be thicker.
Make a mark on the string where it meets the start of the string and then lay the string flat next to a ruler and measure the distance between the beginning and the end mark. This measurement is your penis circumference.
To find out your length, use a ruler (running along the top of your penis) to measure from the base of the penis i.e. where the shaft meets the body, to the tip.

HOW TO GET A BIG PENIS - HOW DO I GROW IT THEN?
Well, don't shove it in a pile of horse shit - It ain't a plant you know. So here are the methods;

THE TRADITIONAL WAY
This is the way Amazon Tribes and some African tribes use to make their penis big. It works best when the person is still very young - but will still work no matter what your age. What you do is attach a heavy rock or stone to a piece of rope/string - whatever, then hang the heavy stone from your penis. Walking about with a heavy stone hanging from your penis may hurt it but it really does stretch it. That's why the tribes mentioned have used this method for thousands of years.

THE SCIENTIFIC WAY
Way One... As everyone knows the human body is just a load of chemicals bunched together. Genes determine the height of a person - but they can also determine the size of your penis. So if daddy has a tiny willie you can expect the same too. But don't cry yet. Scientists using hormones can alter the height of a person to make them taller than they would have been. In the same way they can also give you medications to make your penis bigger than it would have been if nature had taken its course.

THE PENIS OPERATION
By this I DON'T mean transplanting the penis from a well endowed man who has died to you. In the U.S.A. an operation can be done to lengthen your penis. It costs approximately 7000 dollars. It can make you longer by anything from three quarters of an inch to two inches. What they do is snip the suspensory ligaments which attaches the penis to your body, which allows the penis to hang freely and subsequently lengthens it. They also inject fat from your body into the penis making it thicker too. You're still able to get a proper hard-on and the doctor who performs the operation (who was speaking on "This Morning" on ITV) said that out of the thousands of operations he has performed only one or two were unsatisfactory in that they didn't make the penis grow longer.

SHORT BACK AND SIDES for YOUR COCK!
If you don't have the stomach for an operation and you don't fancy the idea of walking about with a heavy stone on your penis then you could always shave some of the pubic hair from around your penis to make the shaft look longer. (Hmmmmm)

THE PENIS EXTENSION KIT
Yep, that's right. You can get a plastic thing that attaches onto the end of your manhood. They're usually about two inches long and can be found advertised in the adverts of most porn mags. But don't blame me if it falls off halfway through doing it (the extension I mean).

THE DEVELOPER
Hmmm, bit dodgy this one. Penis developers, like extension kits, can be found in the pages of most porno mags. What they are is a tube in which you place your prized organ into, then you use a pump to pump it around your penis nice n tight so as to stretch it (I think it works just like the pump when you're getting your blood pressure taken). Scarey stuff uh?

HOW TO GET A BIG PENIS - BUT HOW DO I KNOW IF MY COCK IS BIG ENOUGH?
According to various articles I came across in my research the average length of a penis is anything between five and six and a half inches. So if you're shorter than that start worrying... I'm not a poof so I don't go around measuring peoples penises, so we will just have to take those magazine articles word for it!

Do women prefer a big penis?
We are built to enjoy sex, and generally speaking there are very few individuals whose dimensions prevent them from enjoying sex with their chosen partner. When men and women are asked what makes good sex, they rate tenderness, consideration and foreplay above your cock size.

Does one size condom fit all penises?
Fortunately condoms are not all the same size and shape.
condom too big - it may slip off or become damaged during intercourse
condom too small - it will be uncomfortable, and could split
condom not long enough to cover the whole penis - the collar of the condom may roll up or the condom could be be pulled off during intercourse.

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You may wonder if it is really possible to enlarge your penis. The simple truth lies in examining the makeup of the penis itself. With the introduction of How Viagra works to the public, scientific research on the workings of the penis has increased exponentially. Many new discoveries were made about the effects of certain chemicals and exercise on the structure and performance of the penis.

The simple way to think of it is like this. Imagine your penis is a muscle. You already know that muscles in your body can be strengthened and enlarged with the proper nutrition and exercises, well, similar to muscles, you can also strengthen and make your erections bigger.